So I woke late, yet again, today.

I got my hair *did* (cut) and then I decided that I would get my eyebrows waxed. I really didn't *need it, but I was bored and waiting for my friend who was getting highlights. She was the same person that did my hair (last time, too) and she asks: "eyebrows and lip or just eyebrows". At this moment, I was freaking out. You don't tell someone who is insanely self-conscious that her effin' upper lip NEEDS TO BE WAXED. Listen up; step off; I said eyebrows. No, actually, I said "what you think I need it" while almost instantaneously commanding: "don't answer that."

BUT, you could about imagine the level of freak-out I have been feeling. Oh, my gosh?! What? I am already my mother at 25?! M already mentioned I have crows-feet, but it's different when your friend tells you lovingly. That's why I can always rely on C to tell me the truth. Thank God for that.

Nothing like a total stranger shattering your dreams! Okay, not dreams, but pointing out yet another abnormality/insecurity/flaw, etc.

But I guess it's in those "flaws" that people show their unique features and what makes everyone "different". It is in these personal characteristics that make me "me"... which I don't even like that someone has my "name" yet spelled differently! ha.

I ran for about an hour and four miles or so. I burned 614 calories :)

You will never hear me say an ill word about my sweet-souled-saint Mother. Mother needs a capital M. My mom is the cutest, sweetest person that I know. She's definitely a pushover, but it suits her. Everyone who meets her loves her. I am much like her that she is too hard on herself, she over-analyzes things, and she doesn't take the time to care for HERSELF. She is the most amazing woman I will ever meet and I am sure of that.

I talked to my good friend, M, tonight... hang in there! She's away on "business" and it's funny how attached you get to someone that you see everyday and how you take advantage of that fact. I talked to her yesterday and today and she is always a treat. She told me that I was in a much better mood today. Of course, it had to do with me being done with my group meeting... all in all it went fine, but again I over analyze EVERYTHING and have minor freak-outs on more-than-normal occasions... but I also had just talked to my mom on the phone.

My mom is the type of person who genuinely lives by "laugh at yourself even if it makes others laugh AT you as opposed to with you" or "laugh everyday".

My mom has that type of laugh that resonates- the deep-down in your belly kind of laugh, the laugh that makes others laugh because she just gets so much into it, the laugh that she doesn't care who hears, the laugh that makes you cry.

So I got this KICKBUTT recipe book from the "mom-in-law"- a write-in, get others to contribute kind of recipe book. I had given my mom a bunch of the "special" recipe cards so she could give me all of the recipes I like. So this was about at the beginning of June and by the end of June she had said that she had sent it.

I didn't get it, I didn't get it, I went home, I didn't get it... so it was getting so ridiculous that I was sure she got the address wrong, that it got "lost" in the mail, that someone "stole" it, etc.

Last week I looked at the pile of mail, and somehow it had been transferred to the bottom of the pile! I called my mom later that day and left a message on the answering machine stating this. I knew she would have a good laugh about it.

Well, when I brought it up in tonight's conversation... all I said was "did you get my message about the recipe cards?" ... and she didn't answer. She couldn't; she was so engulfed in her own laughter that she couldn't talk; she couldn't breath. It was so funny that we sat there on the phone just *laughing for about one minute straight. We were both crying we were laughing so hard. [Just like when I was back home over the fourth, I watched the Bucket List with my family and at the end he marks off the "laugh until we cry"...]

Then my mom was talking about going food and health. It's a never-ending battle for both of us! ha. I told her that I was bad tonight. I had a couple of drinks and whenever I do that, I eat waaaaay too much. It's not like I drank a lot. In fact, it was a little... no excuse! Seriously!!

I told her I went to Arby's tonight and she said in her sweet voice:

"Well, you know the roast beef isn't bad. Me and dad went there last weekend and that's what I had." Then she laughed a little bit and continued on: "but I also had the curly fries." She guiltily laughed a little more.

I replied with a "welllllllllllll, today I had the chicken bacon swiss, ham and cheese AND the curly fries." This immediately motioned for another laugh-until-we-cry moment.

So, yeah I marked up about 2,700 calories today (a little less) and I haven't worked out until Thursday. Tomorrow I am back at it. Even more alarming than the calories is the amount of sodium I took in: 6 grams! Gross. I felt it all night, too. Maybe that's why I am a little insomnia stricken right now... that or the fact that I went to bed at seven last "night" OR that I am pretty much addicted to working out (my body needs it?)??

So, tomorrow = working out! And some other important errands with hopefully a good research day!

I also took the night off after I had group meeting. I rented a movie and watched it with the boy. I had to go meet up with a tutee so we had to pause it halfway through, but it was good [The Bank Job]. He surprised me with a present. It was a box about 8x8x8" ... I unwrapped it to find a DVD type case. I was all excited and I unwrapped that, too, only to find NOTHING!

What an evil (yet cute) trick!

He made me wait until later to open the "real" present. It was heavy and in a very small box.

Get this[!!!]:

He replaced my iPod!!! I got the new iPod nano and the one that I wanted [the (product) RED one]!!! It even has an engravement on the back with my name and phone number! I was going crazy without one, so YAY!!! He's great, isn't he?! My sugar-daddy!! tehe.

Okay, maybe now that my mind isn't spinning (that bad) anymore, I can finally go to sleep!

Thanks for reading, my peeps! Comments are *always* welcomed!

My earliest memories are of the lake. I long for the days I get to come back to Upper Red Lake and go camping with my family--- it's been all too long (three years!). My earliest memories are on that lake. My grandparents started going up there when my dad was little and when I was little the tradition continued.

Summers would consist of trying to fit a couple good weekends to go there. My dad would always say we were leaving "bright and early" on a Friday, but he'd never get packed before noon (perfectionist!).

We always wanted to optimize our time up there. And there is a reason for this, too... fishing (more in the "early" years), pontooning, paddleboating, and can't forget swimming.

Mom would cuddle up on the beach to a good book (and would soon become a lobster); dad, well, he's always a wanderer(!), and us kids would be out swimming our little hearts out.

There is nothing like the stars there at night, the sound of the lake hitting the shore, and the tranquility of it all.

That's one of the first things I am going to do when I get outta this joint! Yes, it sounds like a prison, and it is! ha.

I am so tired and my neck is stricken with a horrible knot... well, more like my neck from the top of my head--- a horrible headache... most likely tension... wonder why?

To my baby-God-mamma... it'll work out. Keep the faith... all will be well! Love you!

So, I am sitting in the lab doing some lovely rotavapping... ha. I just randomly thought about this story...

Prelude:

I previously said that I would love to write a book about me... an autobiography. I have some fears. Of course the obvious: how do you even get published and then the what-if-people-actually-knew-the-real-me-would-they-still-like-me ordeal? And then the other obvious: who would even WANT to read it?

But... I would tell stories like the ones I do here and maybe random ones that I just thought about like this:

I was thinking about how mediocre I have been feeling lately and how this has happened in my life as a redundant occurance. But it seems that in the most times that I feel mediocre something outstanding happens in my life to make me feel better. Right now, I am waiting for that outstanding moment to shine its face.

I was always "mediocre" at playing sports. In seventh and eighth grade there were so many "athletes" that we had two teams for both volleyball and basketball: the "A" team and the "B" team. Seventh grade, eight grade both B for volleyball. Miraculously in ninth grade I was put on the A team when someone I deemed WAY better than me was bumped to the B team. But it was that year that we got a new coach and the predisposed opinion of you was thrown out the window. A new coach, a new perspective, a new chance. Which, in my case, was much needed as the overweight, non-athletic looking child. I swear, I will post an adolescent picture of me and I TOWERED over everyone... until sixth grade.

Now for volleyball, it was never really a huge deal (you know, until I made the "good" team...), but basketball was a completely different story.

I fell in love with playing basketball the moment I picked one up. There is nothing like spending all of your summers playing basketball on the crooked pavement on the hoop your daddy put up for you "and your sister" (who NEVER played sports). I don't think he knows how much it is STILL appreciated that he put that up. [I wanna win the lottery and just lounge with my parents for a few months!] Anyway, basketball was "my thing". I always felt somewhat overlooked. There was an "after season" team until ninth grade and I "made" (was asked) to only do it during the ninth grade.

My first shining moment that I remember was at the end of eighth grade.

We were playing in a neighboring town (thirty miles away) and the "B" teams played in something we called the "icebox". It was called this because there was LITERALLY ONLY room for a row of chairs around the perimeter. Room for first-come-first-serve moms and pops and the teams. They were our rivals, and they played dirty. Classic Catholic school students. It was the third quarter and I was getting ticked that no one was doing ANYTHING. We were down by 8 (low scoring game, too!), and I made some action. I just remember that I scored sixteen points out of thirty-two. I had never played a FULL game before. I kept telling my coach to take me out because I was exhausted. He refused. I made 8/8 on the free-throws. We ended up losing by two, but that is not what I remember. It is the reaction I got from people that I remember. I was asked to play basketball the next Sunday with the best person on the team. Parents were coming out to greet me. My coach was impressed. And even better, I felt worthy... I felt wanted... I felt like I wasn't a waste of space... I could hold my head high and say "thank you" (which is HARD for me! ... still).

So, I just need to think of this the next time I am feeling mediocre. Hopefully I can impress people and come out of my own woodwork...

Really... who would pay money to read stories like this?! ha

I think I would have to have a catchy book title like "something ingenius... ??? ending with: a tale of a not-so-normal twenty-something."

Been a little depressed today... maybe because I'm tired and feel overworked, yet feel like I am a piece of poooo not accomplishing anything.

Yet, C told me that he can tell that I lost weight. What a sweetheart. And, yet, ironically, I am *actually having an I feel skinny-ish day today. Weird.