Tuesday I kinda of gormandized a bunch of girl scout cookies--- yeah that was great thinking after the gym: "man, I only burned off 3.5 girl scout cookies" (~300 calories). NOT worth it!!! Hear me out- I had SEVEN girl scout boxes under my desk... you are lucky I don't like thin mints that much to devour a whole row of them! I focused my eye on the peanut butter patties! ha. Okay, enough G.S. cookie talk! I did my sprints yesterday.

Today I did 45 min of cardio, and miraculously finished my weights in 15 min (I was in a time crunch, though) and skipped abs, but managed to burn about 530 calories. Not too shabby.

I am exhausted... have to study for the cume but have to please my boss. I CAN NOT WIN.

everyone left last night by like 830... and that's odd. I left at 10 to go to the gym for two hours. I burned ~930 calories in 1:40. It felt good for once. I started again w/ the protein recovery drink afterwards. It's been a LONG while (since prob. 8 months ago)... maybe it's just me but I wasn't sore this morning ... ? ...

Trying to be optimistic.

I have 7 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies under my desk. BAD! I have had 375 calories and 8 pts worth--- ENOUGH already! I am going to have to burn that off in the gym tonight (which might be difficult because it's my sprint day!)

More later...

1. As you know, didn't do great on seminar.
2. I failed my Synthesis test last Wednesday.
3. I was sick from pretty much W-Sunday.
4. I failed my last cume with a C.
5. I have another cume next Monday.
6. Because I was sick, I pretty much was a sloth all weekend.

Things are pretty much having to look up sometime soon, or I think I will go awol.

Hello readers...

Worked out today already. Hard workout. I didn't sleep a lot last night (again). Didn't study, either. Great (insert sarcasm). I met w/ my trainer... did 30 min on the treadmill. Crazy thing was that my HR was 160-170 the whole time and I WAS WALKING- at an incline of 15! Hard work. Then it was my arm day. It is ridiculous how sore my arms feel NOW- just typing! I still haven't studied. I am bad... procrastinating, tired, sore, sad. I woke up this morning and I was crying. I was just overwhelmingly ... sad. Luckily, the b/f gets up at the butt-crack of dawn, so I talked to him at told him how disappointed I am of myself for getting a B/B+ on my seminar. I just wanted more of myself. I am glad it's done, yes, but I feel like I just got the bare minimum and that sucks because I spent three + weeks on this topic (and more time on other failed topics ). And I have forsaken all else and it has consumed me. He made me feel better saying that he was proud of me and that he was going to brag me up to his parents saying I did well... and he said they grade hard, etc etc. It did make me feel better, but I was just so IN A FUNK. There I go again, having myself some never-ending-pity-party.

If any of you really know me, you know that I blush pretty easily. I blush (understatement- I get beet-red [and not the sugar kind]) when I am embarrassed, I blush when I am mad, I blush when I am angry, I blush sometimes when I am frustrated AND when I blush for the every reason BUT embarrassment, I GET embarrassed, which, in turn, MAKES ME MORE RED! It's frustrating. I have done better since I am pretty much around boys 22/6... But anyway, when I was talking to the guy who is in charge of seminar yesterday, my face just was feeling hotter and hotter. I wasn't embarrassed (UNTIL I turned red), and I have no idea WHY I did, maybe because I was so frustrated with myself/ my grade, etc. So, that adds to my unhappiness. All for now. It's 11:11- MAKE A WISH! I NEED to crack down... and ... study ... SAD!

(If any of you know where that is from, I freakin' love you!)

1. I had yummmmmmy choc cake at the Cracker Barrel Friday.
2. I had the quesidilla burger at Applebees with Fries/ BBQ sauce (omg(osh) it was SO unbelievable).
3. I had Chinese on Sunday.
4. I missed working out Wednesday.
5. I missed working out Friday.
6. Met w/ my trainer on Thursday for a short sprint workout (yet 400 cals!!)
7. Have slept seven hours of sleep in the last two nights (horrible insomnia on Sunday).
8. I am done with my seminar... I feel relieved but disappointed at the same time... with all my work I devoted to it, I got a B/B+ (depending on my participation the rest of the semester). It sucks. It's really that bittersweet feeling that I despise. It makes my heart ache. Weird.
9. I have no drive to do anything but sit on the couch for the time-being.
10. I met with my trainer yesterday for an hour (640 cals!), today for a half an hour, tomorrow for an hour. I have officially been FINI with four weeks of training! I missed three total workouts, so not bad, esp. during seminar time.
11. I haven't written in my food log for about 9 days...
12. I have roughly stayed 1-2 pounds over my current low, so I would say that's not bad, either...

SO, the GOODS and the BADS with life... all in a short period of time for me.

I will try to write more this week... sorry for the lapse.

THANKS FOR READING! (Feel free, NO OBLIGATED, to post a comment! tehe joking, but it is really nice to hear encouragement from you people, even though I can see that I get hits almost every day... REASSURING so THANKS!)