That's my goal. Let's do it! I want to work out three times this week. I stacked my fridge with goodies of veggies, lean meats and fruits. Shocker, huh?! I am going to try and plan out some meals. I will keep you posted with it!!

I got an A on the organometallic cumulative exam! yeah!

No guarantees on which pathway, yet I am still in the Ph.D. fight.

Now, I just need to make my boss happy and get some (much needed) research done.

I opted out of doing research AGAIN. What in the eff is my problem? Well, I wake up late, roll into the lab at 3:15 only because we had group meeting at 3:30... seeing my boss which was completely obvious I had just got in... Anyway, I was at my desk and he comes in and looks at me. Never really a good thing--- it's usually, how is this coming along, how is that coming along, what is the status of this compound, etc. ANYWAY, I swear he says (that's so my dad saying that "and he says and she says..." tehe) I swear he SAID: "Come here KICK girl". One time G man (a labmate) was in his office and it was too early for me to get yelled at so it was more towards him but for both of us. He told me to "get the bat" (I have a bat on my desk and he knows I play softball because of one picnic, blabla) and then I said I know Tae Kwon Do and he said show me. So, I did a high kick, in his office, almost hitting Gman's head (I always do that anyway, trying to freak my friends out--- yeah, yeah, I am a weirdo). He said wow, my face turned red, and that was that. No one has forgotten it since. So back to yesterday, I said "not in these jeans". And he said "I never thought about that". But, it was apparent that he said "Come here CAKE girl". No one likes to decorate the birthday cakes. He tried to give people turns. One time it was supposed to be Xu's (shoe) turn who then asked Manu who then asked me to do it. He saw me decorate it, was mad and then I said no one else wanted to do it. So, it has been my "job" ever since (we get bday cakes for our birthdays and eat it as a group, which is always very awkward, it's us standing around eating cake, awkwardly and the birthday boy/girl has to tell a native joke). He asked me about two weeks ago if it was my birthday soon. I said it was on the first. He felt bad, but then I said it was when he was at home in Cali so it didn't matter. But anyway, I asked who has a birthday? He said, I don't know, just write on it. So I write "Happy Birthday" and left a little room on the bottom. And he said why don't you finish that off with "****" (how anonymous can I be with pictures of myself and little tidbits here and there ;). I said, aww thanks. And had birthday cake a month and a half late. It was so nice and unexpected.

Anyway, I had to head to E. Campus to deliver some cmpds for our collaborators. And Sir C needed jeans at Old Navy and he told me to buy whatever for myself for my birthday (ironic that it happened on the same day and I haven't had a chance to drive ALL the way over there since then).

I felt so defeated. Obviously, this is a FLABulous blog... but lately I haven't been writing about it, just because I haven't been doing anything. I am FINALLY feeling better so I am going to work out this week. So, what else can I write about but daily happenings?? Anyway, I felt defeated... because I had a cart full of clothes - ca. 30 items. What fit / looked good?? ONE ITEM. I bought ONE item. I felt so defeated. There is no other word for it. Before I was between a 12/14. This time the 14s fit but I didn't like the style. I am up about 4 pounds, which isn't much to me. Because, it usually goes: if I am not losing, I am gaining. Maintainence is hard. But, I think I have lost muscle (without a doubt) and gained some fat. BUT, I will work on it. Anyway, so I buy a ton of stuff for the beau and ONE item for me. Ha. I decide I would go to the Gap. Thankfully, too, because I picked up 3 items and seriously, I wasn't even going to try them on. But, I said "what the heck" to myself, and one item was too big and the others fit perfectly. But, I do have to say I should think positively, because I was a solid 16 from Thanksgiving to Christmas and the 14s fit perfectly. So, that's positive. I buy two out of the three pants and they are my birthday present. Thank goodness, too, because I was feeling lousy. I really despise buying three things, in particular: swim suits, pants of any sort, and bras. And guess what?! I found those, too, FINALLY! I was feeling so good. And I am, now, too. So, here is to a positive week of doing my body right. I will try to write more about fitness this week. Thanks for listening to the "Ramblings of *.*.*!"

So this will just be a modgepodge of emotions/ statements/ ramblings. Please contribute it to my medication. Be forewarned.

Today my hero is this guy name Dennis. He lives in Lincoln, he is 70 years old, he is my boyfriend’s dad’s best friend, he and his wife are the nicest people- funny, genuine, giving, just wonderful. Anyway, he is 70 and he runs 12 miles a day IN TWO HOURS!

My mom had a friend tell her that another friend told her that my parents "didn't have much". I am sorry, but where does "having things" get you? You're born naked, and last I checked no one takes earthly belongings to Heaven. My mom is the most kind, tender hearted person in the world. I have never seen an evil bone in her body or an evil inkling. She really has that sweet innocence of a child that I wish I exhibited. She takes things hard and she takes things literally. I said mom, whoever tells you something like that is obviously jealous of something SHE doesn't have, nor can buy. My mom is a hard worker, she always provided for us and still does, she is loving, and is giving. She always says she wishes that she could have "given" us more. Hey, I always had a shirt on my back, always had a new pair of basketball shoes (all that I really needed), food on the table, a roof over my head, even when things were really rough financially. Simply, my mom was and always will be a heroine. Any person who has met her can vouch for this. So, I tell her "WHO CARES?" You have something she doesn't, like a husband who has been her best friend for 35 years, two daughters who adore her and who she has close relationships with (yet, they don't with each other, but whatev). People who hurt my mom, hurt me. I cried. Not when I was on the phone with her. I have to be a rock for her. And I don't mind, because she needs a boost.

I miss my friends. You know who you all are.

Mostly 4 mO.

If you're not interested don't read.

This past week I have been studying my little tuckas off. I had to learn a brand new subject. I should know organometallic chemistry anyway... but I learned a new subject and it was interesting. Luckily, I have good people in my life who will go out of their ways to help me. The ironic thing MIGHT be that the first years get a free Cume and so I could have taken the chance to get a "free" a. But with my track record with this dude's cumes and tests--- well, let's just say that it's not good. And I was 1/7 for passing organic cumes anyway, so it is the definite chance that I took for taking inorganic chemistry. I made my bed, and whatever the outcome, I will have to lie in it and be okay with my decision. I don't know if it is a good thing or not that out of seven taking this test, I was the only one that didn't take his class pertaining to organometallic chemistry. We'll just have to see. I guess big Italiano likes to be an ass and said "I saw the test and thought that you would have to kill yourself", implying that it was really easy. I swear, stop doing that to me. I already made the decision because I thought it would be my best bet. Moving on...

I was discriminated against last week. The same guy who's cume I took, asked me to be on a committee for selecting a new faculty member. Well, "they" rejected me. I am not diverse enough, not token enough, too white. Yeah, okay, I get it, I am Norwegian.

On the subject of my health. I am finally on that medication that causes drowsiness, dizziness, temporary dementia, and clumsiness (all of which are things I already have)--- I started taking it and my stomach no longer hurts. Really a good thing. But! I feel so groggy and out of it and just lethargic and I have MORE of all of those other side effects. It's great, really. (SarcasM.) I still have not delved into the research like I need to. I am so TIRED. SO TIRED.

I have more to talk about... like how my f-ing tutees who meet together, are BOTH late. How rude. And my head is spinning. I can't handle myself right now. AND f-n students are bothering me when I am not on duty. Yeah, I guess I am an f-n wealth of org knowledge.

Maybe I should tell them that I persistently flunk cumes...