J'aime francais beacoup, oui? tehe

I ate bfast at "noon o'clock" because I went to bed at 630 am...

So I have had fiber one raisin bran clusters and milk w/ low cal cran-grape jc.

I plan on doing something not so "great"...

Chipoltle (three tacos) and then cold stone! It's gonna be great! I plan on doing SOMETHING physical, but we'll see! ha.

You can just call me "slacker-J" today!

Oh, and I didn't resist temptation w/ the scale today. Same as I was on Friday! YIPEE! You know, I told myself I would be happy if it didn't change, yet who doesn't want a loss?! But I ACTUALLY WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED! So, changes all around, people! Changes!

Couldn't fall asleep last night. Grr. Woke up late. Got to the school... was productive! yay! then grp meeting = not productive, but formality. Then more work, supper, more work, going for a coffee break later and will prob be here for another 3-5 hours depending on the way things go...

BUT I am having a good self-esteem/image day! Yay! Maybe it was from the run yesterday? Not sure... but I am not nor was I planning to work out today due to yesterday... BUT I realllllllly wanted to weigh myself this morning. It took a LOT of will power not to!

So I guess double YAY?! But I really still want to... but of course I won't because it's not the morning so hopefully I won't give in tomorrow morning... grr! But the curiosity gets the most of me!

I AM SUPER TIRED TODAY.

I actually was here late last night... well, this morning. I got home at 5 am and slept in until 1:30... guess I needed that! Well, ate lunch and did some laundry then at about 3:30 I headed to the gym. It was supposed to be my "long run" day BUT I wanted to get up early to beat the heat. My body hates the heat! So, as I was driving there, my friend called. I asked if she wanted to run inside with me (it's an indoor football field) and she said "sure"... my goal was EIGHT MILES today!

So, here is the breakdown of mileage:

1. 13.56 (10.59)
2. 14.26 (11.38)
3. 13.46 (10.57)
4. 12.42 (18.37)
5. 13.41 (11.02)
6. 19.22 (10.41)
7. 12.42
8. 22.21

Okay, so my average mile today was 15 min. miles (how ironic is it that my SEVENTH mile is the fastest???). That's NOT good! But, it was hard. AND I finished. However, on June 10 I ran 10K and those times are in parentheses... average of 12.06 min. miles... so I INCREASED my mile by three minutes. I don't know what the deal is! I would have been happy with 13 or EVEN 14 min. miles... ha. I guess the main point is that I am getting OUT there and DOING IT... hopefully I won't completely get 20 min. miles next time! GRR.

Oh, and the breakdowns are thanks to my Nike+ (love it!)...

Well, I am not going to beat myself up over times... slow and steady FINISHES the race!

AND I already beat my body up during the run!

Yet, today I am in a -242 cal deficit (thanks to thedailyplate.com --- if you haven't signed up yet, DO IT! It's free and I LOVE IT! It totals everything for you so it is completely mindless!)

I AM SO TIRED! Afterwards I ate and then "swam"... we didn't "swim" we just layed out for about 1/2 hour and then I dropped her off and got to the lab about an hour ago... I am EXHAUSTED! Grr...

feels like I didn't accomplish ANYTHING today... besides running (but you all know what I mean --- me being a grad student!)

GRR>>>>>> !!!

JE SUIS TRES FATIGUEE!!!!

As I noted yesterday, TIME FLIES. It's almost JULY! WHAT?!

First of all, I am still trying to find MAY!

So, as I sit here running an experiment, I caught up on my daily mail.

One particularily stood out and really just made me feel great.

I love it when people say they check my blog daily. That makes me feel good that people want to hear what I have to say! Thanks so much to all of you "avid readers"!!! (And I continue to be surprised that more and more come out of the woodworks.)

Well, she (we'll call TSBFO - the smart beautiful funny one) and I have been friends since 7th or 8th grade (I can never remember if which one it is?!) when she moved there because her dad got a new job. I love her and her family. During lunch, we would walk to her place and eat mac and cheese or sandwiches. Her parents never minded - ever. They always welcomed me like their own. My mom really enjoyed working with her mom. I was always friends with everyone (small school), but I just clung to her personality like a magnet. There is something *special* about her. And you know, not many people *got* TSBFO. I seemed to for some reason. (Sidenote: I don't think I have multiple personalities, but my personality meshes well with many different kinds of personalities.) We wrote so many letters to one another. Actually, for Christmas I gave her a whole box from her, in which we had MANY good laughs over!

Well, things separated us: relocation, time. She didn't finish "traditional" high school and I didn't see much of her. She moved to a town thirty miles away. I saw her once or twice. But, she was never far from my memories. LIKE I SAID WE HAD MANY!!! (one word: sleepovers! --- at both hers and mine.)

Then all of a sudden, I randomly got into contact with her again... I was taking care of a 92 y. old and he was in the hospital. At the same time, so was TSBFO's mother. Well, her dad was visiting and I gave him my email address. I found out she was essentially half a world away (not only is she in another country, but she has TWO masters degrees! geez!) so a long-lost friendship was renewed. And, you know, I always knew that it would be a relationship I would always have, even when I had no idea where she had *gone*.

And, I don't care what anyone says. Conservative Christians CAN be friends with Liberal Agnostics. We respect the fact that we have different views and have never tried to convert each other one way or the other. I think it's just about the fact that we always knew what each other stood for and we always got along fine...

And her message really solidified my views (as I am going to show a snippet, hope you don't mind TSBFO...

"Just read your last post and wanted to tell you that it really touched me... I love you, and I sincerely mean that, despite our differences in politics or religion or whatever. You have been there for me and that's what matters."

The feeling is mutual!

Anyway, I had to share my "feel-good" moment!
______________________________________________________________________

Arg, everything hurts today... I got bitten by I have no idea what OR where! I have ELEVEN huge bites on me (they are not mosquitoes, nor are they spider bites I have decided... nonetheless, whenever something bites me the spot gets HUGE --- you should see mosquito bites on me!) So, I took "non-drowsy" Wal-itin (I don't like name brand drugs - it's the same thing!)... well, it made me restless all night and dizzy. It's not really a good time! (Then after I took a second dose, I read the package and apparently those side effects are reported.) GRR. And this head is killing me...

Back to work. HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD WEEKEND!

I only ate breakfast (frosted mini wheats and skim milk) and supper. BAD. NO SNACK (or even lunch). And when supper came around I was ravenous. Go figure! I ate the chicken fajita rollup and fries at Applebees. It was really good! I got the ranch on the side. It was good. I ate a tad bit too much BUT I left A BUNCH of fries! Small steps, huh?!

I feel like I have to change gears here. I am in an introspective mood right now (disclaimer: it has nothing to do with health / fitness / weightloss / lifestyle changes but simply LIFE).

It's just funny (not haha, but ironic) how LIFE just HAPPENS. I just look back and think ... wow, I am a quarter century YOUNG (me being positive) and I can look back and see the 15 year old "me". A lot has changed, but all in all I look back and am the same person. That's good, right? It's just so funny (I feel like I can't use any other word there) how life just drops off at your doorstep like an unexpected package. Time flies. I have been with my soul mate for almost 11 years. Things were rocky at times, as in all relationships, but hell, when you are in your teens and YOU grow and then HE grows it's hard to maintain a relationship when two people are at different points. Eventually, we caught up to each other. Me knowing I am lucky, again (hey, you can stop me by commenting!)...

I remember all of things I deemed "monumental" at the time. Basketball (I LOVE BASKETBALL!), track (I LOVED THROWING), getting cut from volleyball my senior year, joining cross country, earning awards I still feel I never deserved, dances and prom, working a fun job with fun people, hanging out with Charlie on Friday nights only to get up at 445 am to go to work (how the hell did I do that?!)...

I remember when I was 18, wild and carefree, naive (I still am and I don't mind that). I traveled Europe for two weeks (I paid for it myself). Then college hit. Freshman year was fun, yet I thought was hard. A lot of reading. Mostly fun, though. Got mediocre grades. Studied the hardest for biology and chemistry. Mostly just remember the fun times, the spring break in Montana.

Then, almost instantly.

Poof.

Open your eyes.

Somehow five years of undergrad (yeah, I took my "victory lap" and am proud of it) flew by. And somehow I have been here for TWO FULL YEARS ON JULY 2nd. SO, yeah, as I have said, and will continue to say that "life happens when we are busy planning for our future". I guess I just have to remember *this* is the means to the end and have a little fun here and there and if THOSE times flew by, this will, too, right?!

Then I will be OFFICIALLY OLD! And will have to attend my 10 year h.s. reunion. How SCARY is that?!

Breathe!

Then I think about all of the times I was in "turmoil". Frankly, I have not had it bad. My parents are in love and have always provided for me. I have a great boyfriend, great friends from years ago and I have gained many precious friendships on my road to *here* (just think about how many friendships you have *stumbled* upon!). I am really grateful. And I am very much appreciative.

Looking back on my "turmoil", things aren't so bad! I have many friends (that sounds self-centered) that are going through WAY different circumstances, and frankly I feel for EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM.

Ones that are married, happily.
Ones that are not married so happily.
Ones that have their lives "set".
Yet, bad things happen to good people.

And it's at this time that I can frankly say that. Thank God that they have their significant others to help them through.

Ones that haven't found that "certain" someone.
Ones who think think they may have.
Ones who think they may have only to find otherwise.
Ones who are brokenhearted.
Ones who desperately want to have babies.
Ones who are happy being "alone".
Ones who are desperately trying to AVOID preganancies at dangerous costs.
Ones who have illnesses.
Ones who have sicknesses.
Ones who have to deal with unexpected deaths.
Ones who get discriminated against for not being black "enough", yet, at the same time, is an amazing individual.
Some who are in grave danger of losing their jobs.
Some who might have to move away (which, btw, would be detrimental to my well-being (selfish, right?)).
Ones who hate their jobs.
Ones who have addictions.
Ones who just have enough money to get by.
Ones who are slowly killing themselves (and knowing it).
Ones who have any different combinations of these.

Or, if their lucky, see #3!

BUT, through all of this, all I can do is be there for them, give them a hug (if possible) or just let them know that it'll work out... and why? BECAUSE IT ALWAYS DOES.

IT does, too. No matter what is going to happen WILL. AND IT DOES.

There is no good reason that bad things happen to those who don't deserve it. All I have to think is that God won't put them through it if He didn't think you could AND, more importantly, everything happens in God's timing. Maybe YOU don't believe that (I rarely ever talk about YOUR beliefs, why? because this is MY blog! YOU being a generic reader), but I do. I truly do, and, to me, it's REFRESHING.

DEEP BREATH!

You know, some people say that having faith is "easier". Yes, sometimes it is, but it is not easy. Anyone who has faith understands this.

After all, we create our own destiny. That's why I am trying to be a happier, more positive person.

And this is why I am not trying to think about me getting ditched tonight, even though I didn't have time, anyway...

SO, AS ALWAYS, I AM GIVING MUCH LOVE TO ALL OF YOU!

Oh, and if you're having a bad day, DG recommends:
cuteoverload.com

I, however, recommend:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_types_of_facial_hair