bfast:
banana
soy milk
fiber1
--- 5 pts, 300 cals

Lunch:
WW thai noodles
--- 5 pts, 250 cals

Presnack:
bbq w/ light bread and WW cheese
---4 pts, 240 cals

Snack:
banana
---2 pts, 100 cals

Supper:
Lean Cuisine Panini (yeah had two packaged meals today...)
---6 pts, 330 cals

Subtota: 22 pts, 1220 cals

I was talking to one of my friends yesterday and we were talking about ... what else? WEIGHT AND HEALTH.

I told her that I haven't weighed myself for almost a week now as I thought it was obsessive that I did EVERY DAY.

This is what she tells me.

"I weigh myself five times a day."

I think my jaw dropped. FIVE TIMES A DAY?! She said yeah, when I wake up, before a run, after a run, before I eat, after I eat, before I go to bed. I think that's more than five times, but when it gets to be *that* many... does it really matter? She told me that she can tell the difference when she drinks water and doesn't. (what?!)

UMM HELLO?! I then told her that I thought she needed to try to cut back on that because IT IS NOT HEALTHY! And she's lost a LOT of weight in a NOT HEALTHY WAY (aka not eating, having diet pills and running A LOT)... yet she still has the fat mentality that I know all too well.

Speaking of weight... I FEEL GOOD ABOUT NOT WEIGHING MYSELF! I am trying to not have that number define me! And instead of thinking I am going to have a bad day because the number doesn't read what I want it to (really, am I ever happy? lol), I decided to gauge it on how I am doing w/ my workouts, my eating habits and how my clothes fit... we'll see if I can last longer on not weighing. Not gonna lie, everyday I WANT TO WEIGH MYSELF but have resisted thus far. YAY! I might be waaaaay too curious later on this week and might weigh myself, but hopefully if I do, I can at least only weigh myself once a week!

Speaking of not fat mentality... I was talking to the boy the other day and I said that I think it is ironic that when I was *fat* (he says he NEVER has thought of me in that way) that I didn't think that I was *fat*. ONLY after I started to lose weight, I thought I was... only 10 more pounds... only 15 more pounds... etc. and "I will be happy"... hopefully I can change that mentality! And then I told him that it is hard when SO MANY PEOPLE here are skinny little bitches. ha. He said that's because it is what you are choosing to see. IT IS TRUE. I TRIED TO LOOK AT EVERYONE NOW and it was really what I was choosing to see!

Yesterday was supposed to be my 3 mile day... guess what?! I RAN 10K! That is 6.25 miles for you non-SI unit people! It took me 1:14 which is about a little over 11 1/2 min. miles. You know, it's slower than I would like, BUT I FINISHED AND IT IS A GOOD STARTING POINT! And I did mucho mucho better on eating...

Bfast:
banana
milk
cereal
---340 cals, 6 pts
Lunch:
2 bbq sandwiches w/ ww cheese and light bread
---480 cals, 8 pts

"snack":
1 bbq sandwich w/ ww cheese and light bread (the boy's mom sends it back with him! IT IS MY FAVORITE!)
---240 cals, 4 pts

Then I ran...
ONE THOUSAND CALORIES (11 points!)!

went home and had:
3 mini-croissants w/ meat and cheese
ice cream (ff breyers) w/ sugar free/ calorie free / fat free syrup (0 points) and a little bit of nuts
1 c. cherries
---928 cals, 19 pts.

Grand total: 1988 cals, 37 pts minus 1000 cals and 11 pts: 988 cals and 26 pts. (Okay, this is where I think WW is flawed... less than 1000 cals but my total points is where I should be... A woman should never go below 1200 cals... We'll see what works when I *actually* weigh myself?

Lately, I have been getting about 10-20 hits a day! That's crazy. Wish I knew who all of you were (or if it is just my 3 fans being obsessed again lol)...

so I am in need of help. Still not okay with my eating. I don't know what will solve this EXCEPT telling all of you what I have to eat... it might be boring or fascinating, but if it helps then maybe I should make a habit of it. I really don't want to confess to what I had yesterday, but here it goes... please be forewarned that you might be shocked... I KNOW I AM.

Breakfast (started out good)
banana
skim milk
cereal
______
5 pts, 350 cals

Lunch
sandwich w/ 98% ff bologna and ww cheese
_______
7 pts, 400 cals

Supper (#1)
Amy's org. meal (enchiladas)
_________
5 pts, 240 cals

Skinny latte
100 cals, 2 pts

Supper #2
Pizza / book club
bread w/ butter
cheese pizza
1/4 beer
_______
500 cals, 12 pts

Then I went home at about 10...

Had the following...

more cheese pizza (left overs) --- thin crust cheese a little less than 1/4 of a med. pizza

10 pts, 500 cals...

then I had a scoop of ice cream
100 cals, 2 pts

then when I wasn't even hungry... (oh it gets better, doesn't it??)

a mini-croissant w/ summer sausage and cheese...

300 cals, 7 pts

Then if that wasn't enough I had a muffin...

300 cals, 6 pts...

And I only burned about 200 cals during my workout (mostly weights)...

WOW.

Grand total: 56 pts (how am I admitting to this????) and 2800 cals.

I NEED TO DO BETTER TODAY.

So far.
Banana, 80 cals, 1 pts
4 slices 45 cal bread, 180 cals, 2 pts.
2 slices cheese, 2 pts, 90 cals.
Bbq, 250 cals, 5 pts.
_______________________
10 pts, 600 cals.

Then I had Cold Stone BUT I WAS GOOD! I had the LIKE IT (I never get the like it size) of SINLESS (160 cals!!) with fresh strawberries...

3 pts, 180 cals.
________
13 pts, 780 cals.

HOPE I CAN LAST THROUGHOUT THE DAY. WISH ME LUCK...

blog.sessions.edu/images/faith_sides_lg-(2).jpg
aberrant.us/pics/ba.jpg

please do yourselves a favor and go to google.com
Type in celebrities before and after photoshop...

So...

as my readers know I have to do a redo for one of my classes. I, however, only told one person who actually took the class with me. I don't know if he told anyone, but I am seriously hoping not. But I worked on it during Memorial Day weekend and didn't spend time in the lab and this weekend I spent minimal time *in the lab*. So this one A-hole that I have in the lab thinks he is better than anyone else and things he is the hardest worker and thinks he is smarter than everyone else, yet really has no reason to. Anyway, he asked me then (Memorial Day) and then yesterday he saw me and said "OH YOU'RE HERE??????" ... I think he's too stupid to realize that he is actually being offensive. Then today he said "SO WHAT DID YOU DO ALL WEEKEND?" I told him something maybe not so gratuitously offensive. He just makes me mad; I didn't realize he had a responsibility to keep tabs on me. I want to tell him just to be like SHUT THE HELL UP, but I don't trust him farther than I can throw him (not far, even with all of my buffness ha) and don't really want to take the chance on having other people find out. Screw him.
_______________________________________________________________________

I want to change subjects right now... I met with my trainer at noon today. We didn't do much cardio, but the majority of the time was spent on LEG WORKOUTS! Hmm... don't know how I will feel in the morning. Am going to try to eat better today. Didn't do so hot this weekend on the diet portion. I just don't know what my problem is. I ate when I was bored, when I was already full, when I just wanted to eat, when I was depressed, when I was not wanting to do something else... every possible reasoning but a good one... well, for the most part. Grrrr. I am mental.
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Ha, it's funny because I just walked in on "him" in the office area and I saw he was watching something with some shit-ass grin on his face and I said what are you watching? He said "oh nothing"... yeah, bud, not fun to have someone "look over your shoulder"... I wanted to say something, but he's to stupid to make a correlation. And great, I will probably work for someone like him someday. Just my luck.
________________________________________________________________________

I had a piece of pizza for supper and 1/4 of a beer. I don't know what my problem is. I just can't stop eating crap--- and really I just couldn't stop thinking about getting another one... but I wasn't hungry. Someone please stop me!