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Through the Eyes of Imperfection


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This weekend would have been the half marathon I wanted to run, but due to some unforeseen, unplanned, and eventful happenings I am not in the shape I wanted to be now. It's a sad thing, really. I have been through the gutter this week, that's for sure. My stomach has been acting up lately and I have been trying to eat healthily but it's hard when I have grading and assignments of my own and really I haven't done research and I can't wait to delve into it after this crap. I have said it before, I will say it again--- it's so DAUNTING. Thursday I took a day off with my favorite girlies. We had sushi (mine without fish!), had a mani/pedi (no fake nails for me, thank you) and got my hair cut A LOT. I like it, but secretly (or not so secretly) wanted to cut it a bit shorter. I had a thing with a friend this week. By this "thing" I will say few things. I hurt her (not purposely, of course), she ignored me, I was relentless and tried to contact her and she never told me she was mad at me as she just stopped corresponding. I have thought about this a lot since it happened on Wednesday. I am super bummed out. I am really hurt that she just got over it but never told me about it. She's over it, while I am still reeling. My biggest fear is disappointment. I hate disappointing people and myself. I hate hurting others, and unfortunately it happens. I get super emotional, shook up, and over analyze ever little thing. And the thing with me is I need resolution. ASAP. Period. Be mad but let me talk. Whenever I get mad at the beau (not often; he's amazing), even if he knows that certain thing bothered me, I need to tell him. That's just the way I am. So, I have been super sensitive when it comes to other "humans" in the last few days. In turn, I got called pretty much uptight and unable to take a joke "like I used to". I am sorry, sometimes I have girl tendencies. SOMETIMES. I am just hurt... stressed... and my mind is going 800 miles a minute. I played racquetball for the first time today. I pretty much gave up after 40 minutes. I just wasn't getting a workout, and I NEEDED to work out to de-stress. So, I left; the boys were upset... I ended up running 2 miles. Thanks, Ash for the advice. I ran the first ten minutes at incline 2 and speed 5, then the next 5 minutes at 2 speed 6, then went for another five minutes. I got a workout, let me tell ya'! So, awesome advice, because when you get tired and then get to go to incline zero it's "like" going downhill! WELL, here's to a good summer in one week. I hope to make my boss happy and make myself happy by doing my body GOOD THINGS. I just have to try to shake off these things that happened this week and FOCUS.

Easier said than done.
Posted by flab2fabfat2phat at 1:07 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
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Author: flab2fabfat2phat  
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